Over-thinking will get you every time!
We all have struggles. A divorce, a death, strained communication with family or just the struggle of other people not thinking like us. Geez, why can’t people just get us?
We have decisions to make every day! Lots of them. What am I going to wear? What will I eat? How do I make my next sale? What should I say to address a problem? How do I comfort my children without ruining their lives? And on and on.
And once we come to a conclusion of wearing the adorable romper, eating oatmeal, calling a prospect, asking for an appointment to address a co-worker, give kind words to a child in need. . . we second, third and quadruple guess it all.
Maybe the romper is too casual for today. I mean, it is casual Friday, but my arms are showing and it’s really not the right time for my arms to be showing.
Maybe oatmeal isn’t the right breakfast, what if I had strawberries, oh I wish I had some in the freezer. I should have gone grocery shopping yesterday.
Drats, I called that prospect and left a message. Did I sound too needy? I just think this product will be a perfect fit for her. I hope she knows I was just wanting to touch base and talk. Oh I shouldn’t have said buh-bye, I should have said good bye. But, then the good bye might have been too stern.
I just told my child that pain happens and the biggest lessons is to understand we grow from each experience. Great, my child is going to grow up and never want my advice anymore. They probably are disseminating every piece of advice I’ve given them. UGH.
And then the inevitable happens, we crush our own spirits by thinking, Why do I suck at this? Why am I always failing?
YOU’RE NOT. You just keep over thinking. So stop it.
Oh right, like that’s easy to do. Um, it can be. Ok, it can’t. Really, it’s a difficult thing to learn. Or perhaps unlearn. However, it is possible. In fact, so attainable we can probably start right now.
No? Not ready? You can’t start now because you haven’t gotten any notes, or don’t know where to start. Well, what’s an article if I don’t help you get there: Try these few things to start getting your head out of your head. That applies, because you’re over-thinking. If you were being lazy, then maybe I might have asked you to remove your head from another body part.
Yes, the point:
1) STOP being so hard on yourself. Each and every one of us is having a struggle. Either a small one (from not being able to decide what to eat) to a large one (divorce, death). And not just one at a time, multiple struggles. In the face of struggles, we tend to kick ourselves for not having made better choices. STOP. Deal with today’s decisions, based on the information you have on hand. Do not shoulda, coulda, woulda yourself every waking moment.
2) Instead of beating yourself up, starting beating into your brain – YOU are awesome. You are doing your best. And some days, best equals breathing. It is impossible to fill each day with rainbows and glitter. Even the “happiest” people don’t have this. Our lives are a struggle everyday… just ensure you show up each day. And if today means your best will show up in a robe with coffee stains! Then accept it.
3) YOU make your rules. Rules meaning, stop thinking about what will other people think. They don’t know you, haven’t lived your life and can’t know what’s best for you. Honestly, not doing something for fear of what that one person on the east coast might think is murdering your soul. They don’t even know what the heck you are doing and for you to put them on a pedestal to ensure they do not judge you…. that’s just nuts. I am so guilty of this!
4) Set YOUR moral compass! It’s baffling that we allow our moral compasses to be set to another person’s expectations. And, it’s disturbing when we set it to expectations of people we don’t even know! I don’t memorize my speeches and I find myself over thinking what other speakers are doing and I don’t even know them! WTF is that?
5) Let go and go for it. I dare you!
To your successes!